Remember where you were when you found out Pluto wasn’t a planet anymore? (I’m still a little butthurt about that, by the way.) Well, now our friends over at NASA are messing with us again by announcing that there’s actually THIRTEEN zodiac signs instead of twelve… sort of.
Take it from a Trekkie: NASA studies astronomy, not astrology. Many, many people (myself included!) take their horoscope with a grain of salt. But NASA denies they’re ruining astrology as we know it… they’re actually blaming this current situation on lazy Babylonians – I kid you not.
NASA says that some 3000 years ago when the Babylonians were picking astrological signs based on constellations for their zodiac, they actually had thirteen, but dropped one to align with their 12-month calendar. The one that got the shaft? Ophiuchus. (Say that five times fast!)
Now, 3000 years later, the sky looks different than it did to the Babylonians because the Earth’s axis has shifted. I think it might have something to do with the impending election, or possibly the Kardashians… just a hypothesis.
Anyhow, NASA is downplaying their role in this intergalactic drama:
“So, we didn’t change any zodiac signs…we just did the math.”
Anyhow, here’s the breakdown of the New and Unimproved zodiac signs:
- Capricorn: January 20 – February 16
- Aquarius: February 16 – March 11
- Pisces: March 11 – April 18
- Aries: April 18 – May 13
- Taurus: May 13 – June 21
- Gemini: June 21 – July 20
- Cancer: July 20 – August 10
- Leo: August 10 – September 16
- Virgo: September 16 – October 30
- Libra: October 30 – November 23
- Scorpio: November 23 – November 29
- Ophiuchus: November 29 – December 17
- Sagittarius: December 17 – January 20
I’m not entirely certain how the date overlap thing works – for instance, if you’re born on March 11, are you both an Aquarius and a Pisces? Alert Readers™ know I love me a good portmanteau, so does that make them an Aquapisces? And what about the poor people born on December 17? Are they doomed to become Ophiuchusagittarians? (Say THAT five times fast!)
For now, it seems there’s no need to panic. Most astrologists are not bringing poor Ophiuchus into the fold, casting him back out into the cosmic cold as did the ancient Babylonians. This Taurus, for one, is pretty pleased… I’m pretty stubborn.
What’s your sign? (Man, that sounds like a bad pickup line!) Would yours have changed drastically? Do you ever read your horoscope?