Happy Friday, everyone! It’s almost the 4th of July weekend, and we were thisclose to having it be Monday, which would have been awesome, because long weekend and whatnot, but whaddya gonna do. Judging by the traffic, I think a ton of people are taking Monday off (or will be non-productive at work, if they’re expected in), so there’s that!
Shall we put on our patriotic thongs and read on?
1) You thought YOU had a shitty week
A woman in China was trying on jade bracelets in a market when the shopkeeper told her the particular bracelet she had on cost $44,000. She freaked out (like most of us probably would have!) and took it off, but it dropped and broke. She fainted and had to be rushed to the hospital.
The shopkeeper is suing for the cost of the bracelet; the woman says she can only pay $1500. Apparently it’s “only” worth about $26,000.I have so many questions about this that I don’t even know where to begin.
- Why the heck would someone have such a valuable bracelet just out in the open? Never mind breaking it – someone could have stolen it!
- Perhaps some signage re: the price would have stopped looky-loos from just trying it on?
- I freely admit that I know less than nothing about jewelry, and jade in particular, but doesn’t this look like a hunk of something that could be glued back together?
2) Don’t be “That Guy”
Speaking of people desperately in need – or more accurately, in a rush – for the weekend, New Hampshire state police pulled over a minivan that had everything strapped on the roof… I’m sure the proverbial kitchen sink is under there somewhere.
This feels like a picture that should go in, like, Highlights magazine or something with the caption, “How many things can you find strapped onto the van?”
Can you imagine the interaction between the cop and the jackass driving? This would have made an amazing episode of Cops.
3) The One Where They Drank A Ton Of Coffee
I’m a huge fan of the show Friends AND a big data nerd, so I totally geeked out when I read that writer Kit Lovelace did the important work of finding out just how much coffee Monica, Chandler, Ross, Rachel, Joey, and Pheebs drank over ten seasons.
At this time, I have no information on how many sneeze muffins were served, but I will get back to you as soon as I do.
4) Best. Name. Ever.
I came across an article this week about a gentleman in Australia who took the microchip out of his transit card and had it surgically implanted it into his hand, so that he could swipe his hand at turnstile scanners, etc.
“My goal is to have frictionless interaction with technology.”
This is interesting and whatnot, but the real story here is the guy’s name:
Meow-Ludo Disco Gamma Meow-Meow
I swear I am not making this up.
I love how the article is just casually referring to him as Mr. Meow-Meow, but that is his legal name after all! And I’m an extremely happily married woman, but this totally has me drawing “Mrs. Caitlin Meow-Meow” because it’s just the Best Last Name In The Entire Freaking World.
5) Looks can be deceiving
Remember when you were a kid and all you wanted was to look older? And how as soon as you hit a Certain Age™, that excitement wore off real fast?
There’s an interesting video where bartenders are asked to guess based on looks alone whether someone is of legal age, and it’s really fascinating (and hilarious!) to hear the rationale behind some of their reasoning. Some of them have only been on the job for three weeks, and some have been doing it for thirty years, and it just goes to show that you can’t judge a book by its cover.
There’s a sign at the registers in my local grocery store that reads “We Card Everyone – Consider It A Compliment!”. I like that outlook.
What are your plans for the holiday weekend? Which “Friend” is your favorite? That bracelet is totally overpriced, right? Let’s discuss in the comments!