Happy Friday, everyone! Today I’m launching a new feature called “T.G.I. Five-Days” – it’s designed to give you five conversational tidbits and/or random facts that just might make you the most interesting person at happy hour, a weekend cookout, or brunch with your friends. Or, maybe not. I don’t know who you hang out with.
To quote The Black Eyed Peas: “Let’s get it started!”
1) One Less Pea in the Pod
Speaking of The Black Eyed Peas, Fergie is no longer a member of the group. She is apparently working on solo projects, and the other remaining Peas are quite busy. They have a “zombie alien invasion hip-hop graphic novel” (!) coming out in July, and will continue to release music.
And in case you’re really worried about the future of the band, Will.i.am wants everyone to know that
We’ll always work with good females.
(Author’s note: I sprained my eyes from rolling them so hard at that quote. What an asshat.)
Now that this song is firmly ensconced in my head, let’s take a stroll down Memory Lane:
2) National Donut Day
Today is National Donut Day! Here’s a list of places that are giving out free donuts in some manner, shape, or form.
Now, let’s get to the important matter – how do you spell donut/doughnut?
3) One King to Rule Them All
So, Burger King is opening in Belgium, and thought it would be hilarious to run an ad campaign asking people who they thought should be the real king: the Burger King (above, in case you needed clarification), or King Philippe, the actual ruler of Belgium.
The Palace got their knickers in a twist because BK was using a cartoon likeness of the actual King in their advertising (without permission… which, let’s face it, probably wouldn’t have been granted!). There’s also this whole little thing about how Belgium almost abolished the monarchy after World War II – an extremely sensitive issue in Belgian history.
So… maybe not the best move, BK?
4) Dreams DO Come True
Several of my friends and family members sent me a job posting this week – my dream job, really. What is it? I’ll tell you, but only if you promise not to apply for it yourself.
It’s a CAT CUDDLER.
I shit you not, people. I’ve been training for this my whole life. I’m practically an Olympian-level cat cuddler.
- Are you a crazy cat person who loves cats?
- Um, YAAASSS
- Does cattitude come naturally to you?
- I used that word before it was a word.
- Have you counted kittens before you go asleep?
- I have to count them – there are usually four of them in my bed.
- Does petting cats make you feel warm and fuzzy?
- See answer to #1 – Um, YAAASSS
Alas, this job is in Ireland. And my husband would kill me if I worked in a job like this because I’d be smuggling all kinds of kitties home under my jacket every day. #wompwomp
5) Dramatic Yelp Reviews
This is a few weeks old, but I just discovered this delightful gem this week. I’m a huge Aziz Ansari fan (I actually met him once! I’m taller than he is! This has nothing to do with anything!) and he was on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon recently reading actual Yelp reviews.
I worked for TripAdvisor for many years, so I take the entire concept of user-contributed reviews, etc. very seriously – but this had me in stitches. Some people (and this goes for proprietors too!) are just insane.