PEOPLE - a flock of geese attacked people at Disney, everyone's wearing dad bod bathing suits, and Dennis Rodman is apparently the North Korean ambassador. WTF?!

T.G.I. Five-Days – Week Ending June 16, 2017

· The News You Need to Know Because I Told You So ·

June 16, 2017 50 Comments

It’s almost the weekend – huzzah! Get started a little early by reading this post at work, while sitting on the train, or perhaps while your children are arguing for the 87th time this week day… remember, this is a judgement-free zone!

And hopefully, you’re having a better week than these people:

 

1) The crappiest place on Earth

Earlier this week, police, fire, and even a HAZMAT crew rushed to Disneyland when a flock of geese flying overhead pooped on 17 people.

I swear I am not making this up.

I have so many questions. For instance, how much poop was there, exactly? Why were the POLICE called? And a HAZMAT team? It’s bird shit, not an overturned oil tanker.

Anyhow, the wonderful folks at Disney apparently brought everyone who had been affected by this tragedy behind the scenes to hose off in one of their special private bathrooms and gave them clean clothes. So… it actually ended up being kind of the Best Day Ever, if you have a sense of humor? They say (whoever “they” are) that a bird pooping on you is good luck, after all!

 

2) Smells like… Swedish spirit?

If you find yourself needing to freshen up after an encounter with waterfowl, pretty soon you can check the aisles at IKEA for a solution to your troubles. They’re making a perfume.

“But we are also curious to explore the scent of IKEA, if there is one – what does IKEA smell like?”

I have never once asked myself this question.

 

3) What has been seen cannot be unseen

So, it’s almost officially summer (although Mr. Seeking Ambition has been going swimming in the VERY cold Massachusetts ocean for weeks now!) and people are naturally talking about their bathing suit bodies, blah blah blah. My stance is this: my beach body is whatever I happen to be wearing when I show up at the beach.

However…

A post shared by Beloved Shirts (@belovedshirts) on

I CANNOT ABIDE.

This is the “Dad Bod” bathing suit. It’s a Thing™, and it needs to be killed with fire. Kelly Ripa wore one on Live! With Kelly And Ryan yesterday and it was even more disturbing to see it in motion.

Just… no. To quote my beloved Captain Jean-Luc Picard:

“The line must be drawn here! This far – no further!”

 

4) Beautiful disaster

trash popsicles, Polluted Water Popsicles,

Photo credit: Polluted Water Popsicles.

At first glance, these look like artisan-crafted hipster popsicles that you might pay $5 a piece for at a music festival. They’re actually a shocking display of the pollution in the waters of Taiwan.

Three art students from the National Taiwan University of the Arts gathered contaminated water from 100 different places in the city – drains, rivers, the ocean. They then poured what they found – some natural material, and quite a bit of man-made material – into popsicle molds, froze them, and coated them with sealant.

Seeing pollution presented this way really makes you think, doesn’t it?

 

5) Where’s Waldo?

Dennis Rodman – former NBA player, former Madonna paramour, current apparent quasi-ambassador to North Korea – is visiting North Korea at the moment for… well, I’ll just let him explain.

“We’re trying to bring everything together. If not, at least we tried. We’re trying to open doors between both countries.”

Dennis Rodman, Jean Luc Picard, Picard, facepalm, Picard facepalm

What I find most fascinating about Dennis’s junket is the gifts he came bearing for Kim Jong-un:

  • A copy of Donald Trump’s 1987 book The Art of the Deal, because obviously
  • Two autographed basketball jerseys, in case a flock of geese pooped on them during the visit
  • Some fancy soap (because everyone keeps those as emergency presents when you need to give someone a gift)
  • A copy of Where’s Waldo?: The Totally Essential Travel Collection, because he was reading it on the flight
  • And, most puzzlingly (ha!), a mermaid puzzle. I’ve got nothing.

 

Wow. Looking back, it’s been kind of a mess of a week! Here’s a wholesome comic as a palate cleanser:

 

 

Would you buy IKEA perfume? If you’ve been pooped on by a bird, was it actually good luck? Do you think Dennis Rodman owns a Dad Bod bathing suit? Let’s discuss in the comments section!

 

 

 

50 Comments

  1. Reply

    Sona Jaina

    June 16, 2017

    Haha! In India as well people believe that bird pooping is good luck. Didn’t know it was true in your part of the world too!

  2. Reply

    Karen Morse

    June 16, 2017

    All I can say is, SERIOUSLY? Rough week it seems! I cannot imagine and IKEA perfume, lol. Does it smell like their signature meatballs or does it smell like wood? The biggest WTF is Dennis Rodman though. I can’t even!

  3. Reply

    Amanda Love

    June 16, 2017

    Must have been such a huge deal getting pooped on by birds. LOL. I think this was quite a week for the world. Number is an eye opener and it will definitely make you think.

  4. Reply

    GingerGoose Boutique

    June 16, 2017

    Oh my goodness, that bathing suit!!! This was a fun post!

    • Reply

      Amber Nelson

      June 16, 2017

      That swimsuit is hilarious! I would love to get one of these just for the fun of it. Can you imagine how heads would roll?

  5. Reply

    akamatra

    June 16, 2017

    Again I am laughing out loud as I read this and again thanks for making my day more fun! I almost c***ed my pants when I read the tweets about the Disney, hmmmm, poo-saster, lol!

  6. Reply

    Milton Goh

    June 16, 2017

    That dad bod bathing suit is just nasty!! What are they thinking?!

  7. Reply

    Jessica Taylor

    June 16, 2017

    OMG HAHAHAH! Is it sad that I would totally be okay with bird poop if I got to go backstage at disney?

  8. Reply

    Sue

    June 16, 2017

    Oh, my. So many reactions, so little time. I’ll go with the one that made me LOL for real (As always, good thing I work from home!). I read an article once about the abject misuse of the word “impacted”. When the Anaheim PD tweeted that 20 guests were impacted, they wisely chose not to state the obvious – none of the geese were. I love you because you are one of the few people I know who will get this.
    PS: That hairy bathing suit might be the most horrible thing I have ever seen.

  9. Reply

    thehouseturnedhome

    June 16, 2017

    I still get surprised at the dumb things people do sometimes…that swim suit is terrible! The popsicle art was amazing though.

  10. Reply

    Jessica Hughes

    June 16, 2017

    Seriously, Disney calls in a hazmat team for bird poop?? I had a good laugh at that one! Ikea perfume…my question is does it come ready to use or do you need to assemble it in some way?? I thought the dad bod swimsuits were awesome!

  11. Reply

    Emmanuelle Paquet

    June 16, 2017

    That bathing suit and the IKEA smell 😂🤣 The Disney news seem like a joke tough! Can’t believe it happened lol

  12. Reply

    theclutterboxblog

    June 16, 2017

    OMG I hadn’t heard about the fowl at disneyland. What a horror and awesome thing. I think it’s weird Ikea is going to make perfume.
    The beautiful disaster is a very unique representation of what we are doing to our water supply.

  13. Reply

    Hira

    June 16, 2017

    Seeiously a serious node on polluted water popsicles love they way you drag it.

  14. Reply

    Christine

    June 16, 2017

    Wow. Just wow. That bathing suit is beyond disturbing. Then Rodman… Really?!? So bizarre. The popsicle art sounds like a really enlightening display. Very interesting.

  15. Reply

    Pam

    June 16, 2017

    Don’t they say it’s good luck to get shat on? Or is that when you step in it? That bathing suit makes me crack up.

  16. Reply

    fashionmommywm

    June 16, 2017

    The bird shit at Disney is possibly the best story ever, I love this post!

  17. Reply

    Louise x (@withlovefromlou)

    June 16, 2017

    OK, so I’m going to start by telling you that I read your post while my children argued for the 877th time today – pass me the wine! LOL. It gave me a good chuckle, so thank you so much for that. I keep seeing that hideous swimsuit pop up on my Facebook page, and I swear it looks worse every time I spot it!!

    Louise x

  18. Reply

    Amber Myers

    June 16, 2017

    I feel like I need that swimsuit. I’d just want to freak people out.

    I’m curious about the bird pooping at Disneyland too. Crazy.

  19. Reply

    Angela Milnes

    June 16, 2017

    that swimming costume is crazy! lol Funny post!

  20. Reply

    Carolyn

    June 16, 2017

    I am just amazed about the goose poop making news. People will scream about anything to get free stuff won’t they? Amazing.

  21. Reply

    Sondra Barker

    June 17, 2017

    That bathing suit is crazy. The geese story got a funny response from many.

  22. Reply

    Tereza (@cityscapebliss)

    June 17, 2017

    Hahaha I can’t even. I just cannot from the dad bod. I literally won’t recover all day, I’ve scrolled past it a few minutes ago and I swear I’m still getting flashbacks. Why are you doing this to me? haha! x

  23. Reply

    Tanya

    June 17, 2017

    Thanks for the laugh. I needed that!

  24. Reply

    Nicole Caudle

    June 17, 2017

    I worked at Disney World in my early 20s. The stories I have……
    Plus that bathing suit. I need that immediately!

  25. Reply

    Leo T. Ly

    June 17, 2017

    I don’t wear scents and I will definitely not wear one from Ikea. I like their furniture though. I had been pooped on a few times. I don’t think it’s good luck.

  26. Reply

    Anosa

    June 17, 2017

    Lol I love the comic. Yeah im not sure I would buy an ikea perfume, I would go with other on the scent and my vote would be the smell of fear when getting to the checkouts after going in for one little thing and coming out with a new kitchen lol

  27. Reply

    Kristina

    June 17, 2017

    I’m curious about the IKEA perfume and that swim suit is so ugly! Haha! I could never where it but it is funny!

  28. Reply

    PrettyMummaSays

    June 17, 2017

    The swimmimg costume is outrageous!! How did this become the thing?

  29. Reply

    themomnoms

    June 18, 2017

    Your news is the kind of news that I actually want to read. However the popsicles made me a little sick to my stomach to think about.

  30. Reply

    toastycritic

    June 18, 2017

    I don’t get it with the dad bod thing. I never did. Even if I have a dad bod I want to get more physically fit so I don’t. So yeah. It’s weirdness to me. And stranger why a woman would want to wear one.

  31. Reply

    Prime Beauty Blog (@PrimeBeauty50)

    June 18, 2017

    If Denis Rodman owns a dad bod suit I so don’t want to see it. Once you see it on anyone, it can’t be unseen. Trends are getting weirder and weirder. But nothing is as disturbing as the populated water popsicles. It’s scary what we are doing to our planet.

  32. Reply

    Jeanine

    June 18, 2017

    That bathing suit is HILARIOUS. I have seen it everywhere the past few days. I don’t get it at all. Oh well, I wouldn’t wear that ever!

  33. Reply

    Rain Dazed (Entertainment)

    June 18, 2017

    i need that body suit in my life…lol…just kidding….sort of…i’m appalled and amused at the same time….lmao.

  34. Reply

    Jenny

    June 18, 2017

    I actually saw that swimsuit and thought it was hilarious. I really want to see it on someone in person.

  35. Reply

    Journa Liz Servito Ramirez

    June 18, 2017

    “Humans are so clumsy.” LOL! If we have a dog and he can talk, I’m sure he’ll say that. Too funny!

  36. Reply

    Cynthia Nicoletti

    June 18, 2017

    So funny. I did watch when Kelly had that bodysuit on and revealed it everyone. It was hysterical.

  37. Reply

    Nina

    June 19, 2017

    Yeah the dad bod suit is something you just can’t unsee. And the pooping incident sounds very … unique. Never a dull day in our world these days.

  38. Reply

    JD Obedoza

    June 19, 2017

    That dad bod swimshirt though. Can’t be unseen.

  39. Reply

    Claire Santiago

    June 19, 2017

    The Beautiful Disaster makes a lot of sense. It puts us into a reality that we often ignore. How I wished there’s still a lot of time to save our waters…

  40. Reply

    Kaitlynn

    June 19, 2017

    Who knew the geese in Disney had to poop too? It’s ridiculous that people got so upset about that lol

  41. Reply

    Michelle Paige

    June 19, 2017

    hahahah reading this post was such a fun little break for me! That swimsuit is so silly. Thanks for sharing!

    Michelle | She’s Not So Basic

  42. Reply

    Krystle Cook

    June 19, 2017

    This post definitely made me smile! I loved the part about Ikea I think the most. Like what in the world does it smell like?!

  43. Reply

    fasetto

    June 19, 2017

    My eyes!!! What has been seen cannot be unseen!! haha

  44. Reply

    Renée ♥

    June 20, 2017

    I so hate that I cannot unsee that swimsuit. Maybe Dennis should have taken one of those (or all of them) to N.Korea.

  45. Reply

    Elizabeth O

    June 20, 2017

    No to all of the above…. it is funny though and sometimes mystifying what humans get up to on a daily basis.

  46. Reply

    Befitting Style

    June 20, 2017

    That swimsuit freaked me out when I saw it in an article last week LOL and nothing is wrong with aspiring for a little beach body 😉

  47. Reply

    Denice

    June 20, 2017

    I love your round up! WTH was up with that swimsuit though. I cannot unsee it, its just so weird!

  48. Reply

    Megan

    June 21, 2017

    Those bathing suits are so nasty looking. It’s just wrong! Lol

  49. Reply

    A Busy Bees Life

    June 24, 2017

    Gosh, so funny. I cannot believe that swimsuit. LOL. Over here if a bird poops on you, something great is said to happen within a few days.

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