Friends, Romans, countrymen – I deeply apologize for my lack of a T.G.I. Five-Day last week. I took a week-long vacation to Migraine City (it’s lovely this time of year!). My one regret? You had to get your news from a less
famous entertaining source.
But… onwards and upwards!
1) Graded “D” for “douche”
Okay. Just about every single one of us has had one of those breakups – the kind where you’d do just about anything to never see the other person again. 21-year-old Nick Lutz apparently had a nasty breakup with his ex-girlfriend, and initially took Normal Person steps to avoid contact with her: blocking her on social media, phone, etc.
And just about every single one of us has also been on the other side of the equation – heartbroken, sad, writing sappy apology letters begging to be taken back. Nick’s ex did exactly that. Then Nick’s friends, being of the dude-bro variety, thought it would be hilarious for him to grade it à la a term paper. He gave it a 61/100, citing the “long intro, short conclusion, strong hypothesis but nothing to back it up”.
Then… it got messy. He Tweeted it.
When your ex writes you an apology letter so you grade it to send it back pic.twitter.com/MczdjcCiil
— Nick Lutz (@NickLutz12) February 17, 2017
(That was a douche move, Nick. I’m a grammar enthusiast… but srsly. Not cool.)
You’ll notice that it went totally insane online – being retweeted over 100,000 times. His ex went to the sheriff’s office and also to the University of Central Florida, where Nick is a student, and filed a grievance against him. (She is not a student there.) The university suspended him for summer and fall classes, saying he violated the student conduct code.
Nick appealed the suspension this week – and won. Yay for free speech… but have fun explaining this to all your future girlfriends (and employers!).
2) ♪ ♫ It’s getting hot in here ♫ ♪
Honeywell (makers of fans and many other things) released their annual list of the sweatiest cities in the US… and I am just delighted to announce that I live in one of them! (Actually, I kind of am. It means that all my bitching about how disgusting it is outside is accurate.)
Without further adieu… here are the sweatiest cities in the US! You can just smell the B.O. from here.
- New York
- Washington, D.C. (the current political climate doesn’t help either!)
- Chicago (a nice balance to how freaking cold it is during the winter!)
- Boston (♪ Boston, you’re my home! ♪)
- Atlanta (or, as it’s more colloquially known, Hotlanta)
- New Orleans (I’m honestly surprised this isn’t higher)
How many days until fall? Asking for a friend.
3) Just a little tired
While you’re spending your summer eating ice cream and floating around on inflatable swans, the Tour de France rages on. (I’m not judging you. I’m hibernating in my air-conditioned cave. Remember, I live in the 5th sweatiest city in the United States.)
And as soon as it gets a little cooler, I’m going to start exercising… just not as hard as 27-year-old cyclist Paweł Poljański. He posted this picture on his Instagram after 16 stages in the race and it’s INSANE.
My legs are tired just from hauling the groceries in from the car. This guy is AMAZING! Godspeed, Paweł!
4) China makes a bold policy move
Sad news for Beliebers – China has banned Justin Bieber from performing in the country because of his “bad behavior”. (I am not making this up.)
An ardent Bieber fan asked the Beijing Municipal Bureau of Culture why the Biebs wasn’t allowed to schedule dates in China during his upcoming tour of Asia, and they responded:
“We sympathize with your feelings. Justin Bieber is a talented singer but is also a controversial young foreign idol. We understand that there are records of his bad behavior, whether it is in his private life abroad or on stage…. his inappropriate manner has caused public discontent.”
Other artists, such as Oasis, Björk, and Maroon 5, have been banned at times from performing in China, but that was for their political views (as opposed to being a Very Bad Boy).
5) Journalistic integrity is alive and well
We all make mistakes. And it’s really important, especially when you’re a news source, to correct them. That’s why it’s awesome that the New York Times issued this correction:
— Isabelle Chapman (@Isa_Chapman) July 19, 2017
I still have faith in the media.
What do you think about Mr. Love Letter’s situation? Which sweatiest city on the list would you like to visit (when it’s not sweaty!)? Do you have the will to go on after hearing the news about Justin Bieber? Let’s discuss in the comments!