It’s the end of the Internet as we know it

· (and I don't feel fine) ·

June 1, 2016 7 Comments

I got up from my desk for, like, almost a year and a half five minutes, and I came back to this shit. The AP Stylebook, arbiter of all things grammatical, has decided that as of TODAY, June 1st… “Internet” will no longer be capitalized.

I have Feelings about this, and they’re not good ones. I still feel queasy whenever I don’t put a hyphen in “email” (swallowing bile now), even though the Powers That Be decided way back in 2011 that everyone understood “e-mail” stood for “electronic mail.” No one loves a portmanteau more than I do, but for some reason, I find myself still wanting to shove that hyphen in there.

But, back to the lecture at hand. To continue quoting the eminently quotable Snoop Dogg: “Perfection is perfected, so I’mma let ’em understand.” There’s ONE Internet. You can get technical about LANs (still a lowercase internet!) and intranets and whatnot, but as far as I know, this Internet is the only one we’ve discovered in this galaxy. Just because people are lazy as hell about capitalization is not enough of a reason to be all “Eh, whatever…” and decide that lowercase is the way to go for everything. the next step is complete and total grammatical anarchy. grammatical anarchy would be an amazing band name.

Anyhow, being the stickler for good grammar that I am, I’ll play by the rules. And… let’s be honest here: the internet is a cesspool of bad grammar. So, like it or not, the “Internet” will live on. I’m really liking the irony here.

7 Comments

  1. Reply

    Austin Lim

    June 1, 2016

    I felt this way when “They” stopped adding two spaces after a period. But now, I cringe in pain when I go back and read my old writing from those double space days.

    • Reply

      Caitlin

      June 1, 2016

      I remember that well! It was a dark day…

  2. Reply

    Kate

    June 1, 2016

    This change has been the topic of seemingly endless conversations in my office …

    • Reply

      Caitlin

      June 1, 2016

      For it or against it? I’m dying of curiosity! I still defy the AP Stylebook with my constant use of the Oxford comma, as I know you do as well 🙂

  3. Reply

    Aleksandra

    June 4, 2016

    As someone who is not a native English speaker I always found the capitalization of Internet quite funny – same as I do the capitalization of the Sun and its likes. It is quite silly from POV of other languages, although, to be fair, Germans do capitalize all their nouns… so who am I to judge? 😉

    • Reply

      Caitlin

      June 6, 2016

      You raise a really good point! “Internet” is one of the only proper nouns that I cling tightly to… but English is such a bizarre language. I studied German for a few semesters in college and I loved how all the nouns were capitalized – it took all the guessing out of everything 🙂 Plus, German has so many wonderfully unique words… (I’m a bit of a linguistics freak!)

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