I got up from my desk for, like,
almost a year and a half five minutes, and I came back to this shit. The AP Stylebook, arbiter of all things grammatical, has decided that as of TODAY, June 1st… “Internet” will no longer be capitalized.
I have Feelings about this, and they’re not good ones. I still feel queasy whenever I don’t put a hyphen in “email” (swallowing bile now), even though the Powers That Be decided way back in 2011 that everyone understood “e-mail” stood for “electronic mail.” No one loves a portmanteau more than I do, but for some reason, I find myself still wanting to shove that hyphen in there.
But, back to the lecture at hand. To continue quoting the eminently quotable Snoop Dogg: “Perfection is perfected, so I’mma let ’em understand.” There’s ONE Internet. You can get technical about LANs (still a lowercase internet!) and intranets and whatnot, but as far as I know, this Internet is the only one we’ve discovered in this galaxy. Just because people are lazy as hell about capitalization is not enough of a reason to be all “Eh, whatever…” and decide that lowercase is the way to go for everything. the next step is complete and total grammatical anarchy. grammatical anarchy would be an amazing band name.
Anyhow, being the stickler for good grammar that I am, I’ll play by the rules. And… let’s be honest here: the internet is a cesspool of bad grammar. So, like it or not, the “Internet” will live on. I’m really liking the irony here.