wedding shoes, it's our anniversary, Tony! Toni! Toné!, Tony Toni Tone, Throwback Jams, traditional anniversary gift

It’s Our Anniversary… Now What?

April 4, 2017 43 Comments

I am an ENORMOUS fan of the Throwback Jam™ – particularly when it comes to the R&B ouevre. Last week, I was listening to the hip-hop/R&B/Throwback Jam™ station on SiriusXM when “Anniversary” by Tony! Toni! Toné! (remember when groups could get away with calling themselves shit like this?!) came on.

I hadn’t heard the song in ages, but remembered the chorus instantly, primarily because it’s always driven me $%&@ing crazy:

♫ “Dooooo yooooou know what today is? It’s our anniversary.” ♫

Bitch, I don’t need you to tell me what today is! Nor do I need Tony!, Toni!, or even Toné! to mansplain it to me. Women INVENTED anniversaries. Do you think men would be celebrating them if it weren’t for us? I don’t think so.

But, I digress.

As it turns out, my wedding anniversary was this past weekend, so the dulcet tones of the various Tonii got me thinking about our anniversary plans – as in… we didn’t have any. Even worse, I didn’t have a Big, Giant Gift planned. This isn’t a milestone anniversary for us (like, say, 1 year, or 10 years, or a Diamond Jubilee). What’s the traditional gift to give the person who you’ve spent practically half your life with… when you just gave them a birthday present three weeks ago?)

Diamonds: the gift so nice, you’re now supposed to give it twice.

Traditional anniversary gift ideas are weird

“Happy 6th anniversary, darling. Have a Werther’s Original.”

Modern anniversary gift ideas are weirder

“Happy 13th anniversary, sweetheart. I hope you enjoy this faux fur stole.”

(And don’t even get me started on the desk set idea. Who am I, your fucking secretary?! GAHHHHHHH!)


Luckily for me, I do not live in the tin or aluminum gift-giving days of yore. This is because I am a Trekkie, and nowhere on the above chart do I see the appropriate anniversary for exchanging Star Trek-themed anniversary gifts.

Seriously, though – the best gifts I have are my memories. Times I spend creating memories with my husband, whether it’s doing something exciting like exploring a place we’ve never been before, or something cozy and familiar, like relaxing into his arms as we watch TV at night… these are the things I treasure most. As the years pass, I just want more of them.

But, I’m not going to lie – the goat portrait he bought me this year is pretty damn awesome too.



Do you stress out over buying anniversary gifts? Which would you prefer, tin or diamonds? Discuss.


  1. Reply

    robin masshole mommy

    April 4, 2017

    I could not agree more – it’s all about the memories for me, too. My hubby and I made a pact not to get anniversary gifts for each other and we’ve stuck by it. Sometimes we will go away around our anniversary and call it an anniversary trip, but it’s really just to make those memories.

  2. Reply

    The Playful Parent

    April 4, 2017

    So glad you posted this. My husband and I will celebrate our 10 year anniversary this day and I need ideas

  3. Reply


    April 4, 2017

    Celebrated our 21st a couple month ago. It was nice and uneventful in Thailand. lol Not sure what to say about that goat picture though. Except if you love it, I like it!! Heres to many many more memories.

  4. Reply

    Jay Colby

    April 4, 2017

    I remember when I was looking for an anniversary gift for my first serous relationship I was so nervous. I wish I had the gift ideas you’ve shared.

  5. Reply


    April 4, 2017

    Love this! Im not married but this is so inspiring, will remember these wise words when I do get married!

  6. Reply

    Shannon Graham

    April 4, 2017

    My husband and I rarely if ever get each other gifts as well. I’m with you, awkward gifts and we just don’t roll like that. We usually go out and make a memory on a trip or something.

  7. Reply

    Melanie Smith

    April 4, 2017

    I have been married for almost 10 years now and I can’t believe it!! I am so excited because my idea is make a party but just for my husband and I. I will be great and he’ll love it!

  8. Reply

    Esse D

    April 4, 2017

    While I’m not married and don’t really celebrate an anniversary with my boyfriend, I clam up a bit when it comes to Valentine’s Day. I’m such a hopeless romantic that I always want the gift to be amazing and memorable. Regarding the tin or diamonds, I’m a prissy diamond type, but he can be creative if he can’t afford diamonds. 😉

  9. Reply


    April 4, 2017

    My husband can’t even spell romantic, so my gift is always more meaningful when it comes to gift giving. However, I knew this when I married him so gifts aren’t expected on anniversaries. However, the words “I’ll watch the kids” or “I’m taking them to stay the night with my mom” are all I’ll ever need.

  10. Reply

    Sondra Barker

    April 4, 2017

    That goat portrait is great! I definitely have to agree with you the memories, alone time just the two of you is the best gift you can both give and receive.

  11. Reply


    April 4, 2017

    Happy Anniversary!

    For gifts, my husband and I usually exchange chocolate. We enjoy it!

  12. Reply

    Jessica Taylor

    April 4, 2017

    Happy Anniversary! I can’t wait to celebrate years of marriage! *Sigh* One day!

  13. Reply


    April 4, 2017

    Absolutely. Anniversaries are always spent the same way – dinner and together time. No matter what work has in store we make sure we have alone time.

  14. Reply


    April 4, 2017

    Happy Anniversary!!
    My husband and i haven’t done any big things either. Sometimes that’s okay.
    Those gift ideas though… a little crazy. I love you thoughts on the desk sets, like seriously why is that considered romantic. Whoever made that list must have been scrolling Kate Spade.

  15. Reply


    April 4, 2017

    Glad you posted this — I have to get my husband something leather for our third anniversary.

  16. Reply

    Ana De-Jesus

    April 4, 2017

    Some of the suggestions are strange and it did make me laugh when you said about giving a Werther’s original as a six year anniversary gift lol. Good luck x

  17. Reply


    April 4, 2017

    I love the more modern anniversary gifts!! I can’t wait to get married so I can actually give cute gifts 🙂

  18. Reply


    April 4, 2017

    A goat portrait for an anniversary gift would be epic. I will have to remember that should I ever get married and make it to an anniversary again.

  19. Reply


    April 4, 2017

    I feel like we never know what to do on our anniversary. I love these ideas. We will celebrate our 6 year this year.

  20. Reply

    Author Brandi Kennedy

    April 4, 2017

    This post made me laugh out loud – your perspectives are hilarious. All the same though, I think it might be fun trying to find a GOOD version of the gifts coinciding with the traditional/modern lists.

  21. Reply

    Cynthia @craftoflaughter

    April 4, 2017

    OMG, this is so great. I never understood the year gift although the toilet paper I gave on our first anniversary (paper) was a hit as was the leather anniversary gift, HA! I am all about memories too

  22. Reply


    April 4, 2017

    I love that you got a goat portrait. My husband buys me things that are very practical for our anniversaries, or any time there is gift giving involved. This year it was a Kitchen Aid Food Processor, which I thought was pretty damn cool.

  23. Reply


    April 5, 2017

    My husband and I was together for 10 years before we got married. By the time our first anniversary came round – we went out but nothing big. Now 6 years later we don’t bother to do anything. We give each other cards but that about. it. xx

  24. Reply

    Elizabeth O.

    April 5, 2017

    I don’t think people follow the traditional ones or even the modern ones. It’s just better to be your own couple and give each other what you both enjoy. It’s nice to share the gift of experience and just go somewhere each year.

  25. Reply

    Carol Cassara

    April 5, 2017

    Happy anniversary to you guys! No pressure with the gifts though, I think it’s okay to not follow the chart, who follows it anyway. Just spend the day with each other, that’s fine.

  26. Reply


    April 5, 2017

    It’s our 40th anniversary this summer and yep, I am expecting diamonds, no rubies for me! I might get him a ruby tie pin, though.

  27. Reply

    Wanderlust Vegans

    April 5, 2017

    Happy Anniversary. We usually book a trip for our anniversary. We love holidays.

  28. Reply

    Blythe Alpern (@blythea)

    April 5, 2017

    My parent’s anniversary is this weekend and buying them a gift is always a challenge. They pretty much have everything the need. This year my mom asked for a slow cooker or pressure cooker. Not sure if my dad will care about the gift, but it does benefit him in how food is prepared. lol.

  29. Reply


    April 5, 2017

    I’ve always thought traditional anniversary gifts were strange. We make sure we acknowledge the day and make it special with a weekend date night.

  30. Reply

    Chiara Lisbeth de Lisi

    April 5, 2017

    Happy anniversary! Spending and enjoying time together is the better gift for me!

  31. Reply

    Josselyn Radillo

    April 5, 2017

    lol i have so much reading this post. and i know its hard to get gift for every anniversary my bf and I keep it simple but romantic and he really know how to surprise me always

  32. Reply


    April 5, 2017

    Hahaha yes anniversary gifts by year are very odd. This year though I did go by the traditional list for cotton and purchased my partner a set of really nice pillows because he is always complaining about his pillows when sleeping.

  33. Reply

    Amila Wickramarachchi

    April 6, 2017

    Happy Anniversary!!It is always good to celebrate wedding anniversary together!

  34. Reply

    Blair Villanueva

    April 6, 2017

    Happy Anniversary! Wishing you guys all the best along the way 🙂

  35. Reply

    The Inspiration Edit (@Inspire_Edit)

    April 6, 2017

    happy Anniversary! My hubby was not a kind of sweet we don’t celebrate our anniversary and I wish he become sweet someday.

  36. Reply

    Sauumye Chauhan

    April 6, 2017

    Happy Anniversary dear!! I love how the Modern gift list has more & more jewellery.

  37. Reply


    April 6, 2017

    Haha… this is great… you’re so right, memories are the greatest gift.. unless it’s something really cool and thoughtful.

  38. Reply

    The Everyday Mom Life

    April 6, 2017

    We love making memories too. They are the most important and the years fly by when you’re having fun.

  39. Reply

    angie the freckled rose

    April 6, 2017

    I absolutely adore your outlook. I’ve always wondered about those “traditional wedding gifts” In theory, I’m like, hmm kinda cool. Then the more I think about it, it’s a bit strange and unnecessary. I think it’s important to celebrate in your own way, and don’t conform to what people think is the norm. It’s so much less stressful and much more enjoyable that way. Everyone is different, so I feel like it’s important to just do what makes you happy 🙂

  40. Reply

    Angela Ricardo Bethea

    April 7, 2017

    I am really a low maintenance type of girlfriend or wife. I appreciate everything that my hubby will give to me. What’s important to me is the effort and the thought. It really counts!

  41. Reply

    The Trophy WifeStyle

    April 7, 2017

    Hahaha interesting! It will be my forth wedding anniversary this year and appliances sounds way better than fruit lol

  42. Reply

    Hey Sharonoox

    April 8, 2017

    We celebrate our anniversary by dining out (special date). I’m asking my hubs to save for our China anniversary, since I want it to be a blast.

  43. Reply

    Krista Bel

    April 12, 2017

    Why is no one seeing the humor in this. I’m just laughing my head off. Desks? Diamond, twice. well I can’t wait but I have to get married first. Oh my you’ve made my evening.

What's on your mind?

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.


%d bloggers like this: