With the arrival of a new year, many people swear things off: sweets; alcohol; the sweet, sweet allure of trashy celebrity gossip. However, just as many people resolve to try something NEW: learn a new language, try their hand at cooking, or perhaps attempt to fit into clothing they wore several presidential administrations ago.
Most of these brave souls, desperate for guidance on their quest, turn to none other than the internet. What are Americans desperate to learn how to do? The folks over at Estately have compiled a list of which “how to” questions people in each state are Googling more often than any other state… and it’s… eye-opening, to say the very least! It’s important to note that these are not the most Googled “how to” questions overall in each state – just what people in each state are Googling more often than in every other state.
So many questions… leading to so many more questions. Let’s do a deeper dive, shall we?
- How to day drink?
- I’m… pretty sure it’s just as simple as drinking while the flaming orb in the sky is visible.
- How to draw a circle?
- How to be a badass?
- How to jumprope?
- How to be a troll?
- These must all be from the same person. Excellent trolling, sir or madam.
- How to be pretty?
- People from Massachusetts have a general disdain for people from Connecticut, and this question isn’t helping matters. #sorrynotsorry
- How to get out of Florida?
- I don’t want to brag, but I’ve gotten in AND out of Florida several times… via plane and car. I believe you can also use a boat.
- How to hotwire a car?
- How to get rid of herpes?
- How to crack a safe?
- How to get a divorce?
- How to become a porn star?
- How to become a stripper?
- How to make alcohol?
- How to make meth?
- WHOA! SLOW YOUR ROLL, GEORGIA! Jeez Louise! Perhaps the people who want to leave Florida should go via Alabama, because there is some shit going down in the Peach State!
- How to swim?
- Fun fact: Hawaii is literally surrounded by water.
- How to find Kansas?
- I… I have no words.
- How to make a baby?
- Shoutout to all the September babies coming our way… sigh…
- How to give yourself a hickey?
- How to stop being a loser?
- These are mutually exclusive.
- How to sext?
- Please tell me there’s a blog out there dedicated to awkward Oklahoman attempts at sexting… because I would TOTALLY read it!
- How to make money selling drugs?
- Become a pharmaceutical rep!
- How to bathe a cat?
- How to be gay?
- Carefully, in Texas.
People are definitely trying to learn how to do “normal” things: make jewelry; play chess; lower their blood pressure; juggle; get on Wheel of Fortune. So don’t be totally freaked out by your friends and neighbors… unless you happen to live in Georgia. There’s definitely something in the water there! 😉
Are you planning to learn anything new this year? Tell me about it in the comments!