In these crazy, mixed-up times we live in, many people turn to music for guidance. However, many popular tunes leave us with more questions than answers. Alert Readers™ may remember the first installment of my exploration of questions asked in songs – and I can no longer ignore the clamoring for Part Two. (Well, “clamoring” might be slightly dramatic, but I am prone to hyperbole. This is the #dealwithit section, after all…)

Anyhow, who am I to deny the people what they want? Without further adieu, I present…

 

Deal With It: A Definitive, Yet Non-Exhaustive, Rating Of Questions Asked In Songs – PART TWO

 

Are you that somebody? – “Are You That Somebody?” by Aaliyah

I LOVE this song! It’s so goddamn catchy, and so goddamn weird – WTF is up with the incessant baby laughing in the background? It was on the Dr. Doolittle soundtrack, which explains the giant Eddie Murphy head that floats around, Wizard of Oz-like, in the video. A

Are you gonna go my way? – “Are You Gonna Go My Way” by Lenny Kravitz

This is SUCH a good song. Wherever Lenny wants to go, I’m going. A+

How do you talk to an angel? – “How Do You Talk to an Angel” by The Heights

Welp… I’m guessing it’s pretty similar to regular talking, seeing as how he’s referring to a girl. * barf * This entire song is just awful… which makes it all the more baffling to me that it was nominated for a Grammy. (Thankfully, it lost.) D-

How long has this been going on? – “How Long” by Ace

This question is asked twelve times in this song – they REALLY want to know how long this has been going on. Quite frankly, I don’t blame them one bit. B

Do you really want me, baby? – “Do You Want Me” by Salt-N-Pepa

This song contains one of my favorite lines in history – “Who, me, a tease? Brother, please!” so it automatically gets an A.

Where can I find a woman like that? – “Jessie’s Girl” by Rick Springfield

I think we can all agree that Rick has an unhealthy fixation on Jessie’s girl… when he starts whining, “and she’s loving him with that body, I just know it!” I both cringe and want to call 911 at the same time. Instead of looking for a dopplegänger, perhaps he should seek out a therapist. D+

Would I lie to you? – “Would I Lie To You?” by Charles & Eddie

Question asked multiple times, question indirectly answered. I love this song, and apparently so do a ton of other people… I was really surprised by the number of YouTube hits it had! A-

Is she perverted like me? – “You Oughta Know” by Alanis Morissette

You’ll notice that I did not include Alanis’s follow-up question, because I know anyone who knows this song is already singing it in their head. You’re welcome! B

Do you ever feel like a plastic bag? – “Firework” by Katy Perry

Not really. My town just banned plastic bags too, so this is probably a good thing. D

Whatcha gonna do with all that junk / all that junk / inside your trunk? – “My Humps” by the Black Eyed Peas

Well, it’s hard to say. Since the aforementioned banning of plastic bags by my town, and the advent of Pay-As-You-Throw, we’ve really gotten creative with recycling and compost, so the amount of junk in my trunk has decreased a lot.

Oh, wait… this song is about something totally different. I think. F

 

What burning song questions would you like to see addressed in Part Three? And whatcha gonna do with all that ass, all that ass inside them jeans? (Sorry… I have that song stuck in my head now 🙂 )