Banned Books Week: The “I Can’t Even” Edition

September 30, 2016 6 Comments

Banned Books Week doesn’t officially end until tomorrow, but today’s the last look at the batshit crazy people that try to keep you from reading things. (Until next year!) It’s Friday, though, so I saved the best (well, the worst, really) for last!

I bring you… the “I Can’t Even” Edition!


Hop On Pop – Dr. Seuss

Hop on Pop, Dr. Seuss, Banned Books Week, banned books, Blonde Seeking Ambition, First Amendment, censorship


Man, I remember growing up when you’d see all the tough kids on the playground reading Dr. Seuss… that’s probably why in 2013, the Toronto Public Library was asked to remove Hop On Pop, with its detractors saying it “encourages children to use violence against their fathers” (!!!). Furthermore, the complainants wanted the LIBRARY to “issue an apology to fathers in the GTA and pay for damages resulting from the book”.

I… I can’t even. I am dying to know what kind of an asshat files this complaint in the first place.


Little Red Riding Hood – Charles Perrault


Little Red Riding Hood, Banned Books Week, banned books, First Amendment, censorship, Blonde Seeking Ambition


Little Red Riding Hood’s got more problems than the Big Bad Wolf… like uppity censors in Culver City, CA. They took issue in 1990 with the fact that LRRH was carrying wine for Grandma in her picnic basket. Not that Red was swilling it herself, or that Grandma was drunk – quite the opposite, rather:

The grandmother drank some of the wine, and . . . after a while, the grandmother felt quite strong and healthy, and began to clean up the mess that the wolf had left in the cottage.

When I have wine, I’m definitely not in the mood for cleaning. So you go, Grandma!


Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See – Bill Martin Jr.

Brown Bear Brown Bear, Banned Books Week, banned books, Blonde Seeking Ambition

This famous children’s book, published in 1967, has been named one of the Top 100 Picture Books of All Time by School Library Journal and has sold over 7 million copies in many different languages. However, that didn’t stop the Texas Board of Education from banning it in 2010 because they thought it was written by the same Bill Martin who penned Ethical Marxism: The Categorical Imperative of Liberation. (Spoiler alert: two different dudes.)

Sadly, Ethical Marxism: The Categorical Imperative of Liberation was left off of the Top 100 Picture Books of All Time list.


Charlotte’s Web – E.B. White


Charlotte's Web, Banned Books Week, banned books, First Amendment, censorship, Blonde Seeking Ambition


I adore this book – and I’m not alone. Since its publication in 1952, Charlotte’s Web has sold over 50 million copies and has won numerous literary honors. However, it has its detractors, such as a group of parents in Kansas that banded together in 2006 to protest the book being used in schools. Their issue? Talking animals.

The group’s argument for banning the book was that “humans are the highest level of God’s creation and are the only creatures that can communicate vocally. Showing lower life forms with human abilities is sacrilegious and disrespectful to God.”

Again, God wants you to do your homework, Troy.


The Lorax – Dr. Seuss


The Lorax, Dr. Seuss, Banned Books Week, banned books, censorship, First Amendment, Blonde Seeking Ambition


He’s BAAAAACK! Who knew Dr. Seuss was such a thug? The people of Laytonville, California certainly thought so… in 1989, they banned The Lorax because of his wild views on environmentalism.

Did I mention that Laytonville is a foresting town, incredibly dependent on the foresting industry and might have a teensy, tiny bit of bias on the issue?

I… I can’t even.


I could literally go on and on… but I’m saving some gems for next year. I’ve had SO much fun sharing these with you – I hope you’ve had fun reading about them!


  1. Reply


    September 30, 2016

    The idea of banning these books seem absolutely ridiculous. Haven’t these people ever heard of freedom of press?? If you don’t like it, don’t read it!!
    Just after I graduated High School, my hometown banned the book “The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian”. They removed it from the school libraries as well as the local library. I feel like the only thing this accomplished was making more people aware of the book and wanting to read it! I don’t know about you, but when someone tells me I can’t do something, it makes me want to do it more!!

    • Reply


      September 30, 2016

      So, SO true! There’s this amazing little thing called the First Amendment… freedom of speech and press!

      “The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian” is a fantastic book. Sherman Alexie is such a talented writer. I can’t believe it was banned there! Well, actually, I CAN believe it was banned… and I feel the exact same way as you do. Banning something only serves to cause a stir about it – people are going to want to know what it’s all about. (Then you’ll have a whole bunch of kids sneaking out to *read* instead of smoking cigarettes or underage drinking – haha!!!)

  2. Reply

    Suzanne Hines

    September 30, 2016

    Haha, what? I’ve never even heard of banned books…this was hilarious!!! It blows my mind how some books like these are ridiculously banned, but there are horribly written and scandalous books out there that are still floating around on the library shelves…lol!

  3. Reply


    September 30, 2016

    Wow I never heard of this! So crazy! Funny post!

  4. Reply

    Paula, The Geeky Shopaholic

    October 3, 2016

    Loved this series! Though any hope i had for humanity is pretty much gone now.

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