If your childhood was anything like mine, being home sick was actually pretty sweet because it meant 1) unlimited ginger ale and 2) unlimited daytime TV. However, now that I’m an adult, things have changed. I can have Canada Dry whenever I want, but daytime TV has definitely lost its allure. I’m sick and tired of being… well… sick and tired, but you know what’s really start to get to me? DAYTIME COMMERCIALS!
I watch very little live TV – most of what I consume is via Netflix, Hulu, Amazon Prime, or DVR-ed to intentionally fast-forward through the ads. However, I do watch the news at noon just to see what’s going on in the world… and if I haven’t slept much due to my headaches the night before, it’s the perfect accompaniment for breakfast! But after being home for nearly the past two years, some of these commercials are starting to get to me…
In no particular order… I present: “Adventures In Badvertising: Commercials That Suck”
THE ONCOR FAMILY
I want to track down the person who composed this little ditty and run them over with my car. It’s been in my head since it came out in 2014. This commercial runs approximately 46 times an hour, and it drives me bananas. It starts off fine enough – the mother comes home with a sack of groceries, and we see that her son is engaged in musical pursuits with his friends in the garage. Good for him! Inside the house, her daughter is playing the piano beautifully – how lovely!
Then, inside the living room, her husband is splayed out on the couch, playing air guitar like a jackass. It’s nice to know that the children have been entertaining themselves all afternoon.
But the real kicker? When they move to the table, Dad sits there at the table making a REALLY strange hand gesture… you be the judge.
You’d have to be living under a rock and/or SUFFERING from Chronic Dry Eye to be unfamiliar with the Restasis Lady – the vaguely robotic doctor who also suffers from Chronic Dry Eye. This particular outing, however, proves the patient to be a bit more of a automaton:
“When my eye doctor said I had a disease, that got my attention.”
There are so many things wrong with this sentence that I don’t even know where to begin.
FLONASE TEACHES MATH
Flonase commercials are everywhere right now due to allergy season… and they’re really great at helping teach basic math! For instance – did you know that SIX is GREATER than ONE? If not, Flonase will drill this into your head after a few viewings of this commercial.
ALEVE PM SUNRISE PHOTOGRAPHER
I’m leaving this last one to my mom, because her thoughts on the matter were hilarious. The photographer lady has back pain that prevents her from waking up in time to take pictures of sunrises.
Mom Seeking Ambition: “Couldn’t she just take pictures of sunsets?”